Alright ladies (not said to exclude the gentlemen),
Put your Casey Anthony trial madness on pause (or DVR). I have recently refrained from posting on that particular media blitzkrieg because I refuse to support their endeavors to streamline a waste of tax payers dollars. I will say this much on the subject: It is absolutely ironic that so many of our beloved daytime soap operas are being cancelled because of ratings / the economy, only to be replaced by that slut-hoe bag-dead beat murdering mom. I would much rather tune into the latest Sonny-Carly-Brenda love/hate triangle on General Hospital than see our judicial system (which I choose to be intimately connected with professionally) made into an international mockery. Move over OJ, Casey Anthony Chaos has officially usurped your outlandish and outrageous trial. K, moving on.
How many of your follow The Bachelorette? If you don't already, I'll do you a favor and NOT recommend this season as a cherry-popper. For those of you out there whom, like myself, are completely glutton-for-punishment and willing to lose valuable and irreplaceable IQ points every week by tuning into Ashley's pathetic and borderline masochistic tendencies, I lament with you....I really, really do. In honor of her absolutely self-inflicted daytime TV wanna-be melodrama this post will be riddled with the infamously obnoxious " [. . .]" (DOT, DOT, DOT brought to you courtesy of the asshole Bentley).
Out of all of the guys in the world and the nice selection on the show... you had to fall for Bentley?!?! WTF? Seriously girl, YOU GOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVED. You were warned (although I will admit Michelle isn't the most credible source) and even if you hadn't been, what girl falls for his BS... dot, dot, dot MY ASS. I'm pretty sure last week I counted you saying his name at least 15 times and this was AFTER you traveled to Thailand with a group of amazing dudes. It would serve you right if they caught the next plane out of Tokyo this week and left you to your own seriously disturbed masochistic personality. Brad ditched your ass because you wanted him to write everything in blood and commit his first born child to you on your first date because you just could not fathom how he could really come to care and possibly love you. (Just for the record, we all know he was nowhere near in love with Ashley and God help him if that had been the case). So you got "dumped" on the first Bachelor because you needed more...more reassurances...more time...more communication...more EVERYTHING. Brad gave you a lot more time and showed more patience with you than ANYONE in a similar situation would. I had to fast-forward through your conversations with him because I was so annoyed by your insecurities.
So, can someone please explain how-in-the-hell, someone like you, with your issues, your hangups, your insecurities fall for a total and complete bullshitting Bentley....At no point did the game he was spitting remotely come close to plausible (forget it being believable)... You are such a sad, sad little girl. If you didn't annoy the shit out of me, I would almost be able to muster up some pity for you...ONLY IF...
So you got played (AGAIN)...Only this time you actually deserve it. You have wasted weeks on a dude who honestly didn't think you were worth the free airtime he was getting ragging on you on national TV....NICE! Okay, it is a bit hypocritical and an oxymoron to put a reference to Bentley and Honesty in the same sentence...or is it??? I mean, technically, playing Devil's Advocate, having the technically Charlie Rose trained advocate pop up...He was pretty damn honest with us (the viewers); He just played Ashley's gullible ass.
I was bitching about how I was so sick of hearing you say his name and couldn't understand why you were so hung up on someone you barely knew or had the time to have isolated, in-depth conversations with....then my husband (probably for the 2nd time in our brief marriage) piped up and said..."duh...he fucked her....why else would she be such a fucking hot mess right now." OH MY GOD...no he didn't just say that!?!
Damn!
Shit!
Fuckin' A!
I hate it when he's right (luckily that rarely happens)! So Ashley, dear Ashley....you gave it up to Bentley. No, that's not a question...it's a statement. I don't know whether to say shame on you or good for you...but DAMN GIRL! Have some pride...if you're going to let "him hit and quit it" (LMAO, not that I would ever endorse that mentality), then at least save your TV face and do not under any circumstances mope about like Cinderella's two step-sisters and step-mother after the shoe fit.
Alright...bitch session over...mystery solved...props paid to my very cute and observant husband...and post posted (you're welcome Winer Griner).
Let me guess, after Bentley...you're going to set your all too-narrow eyes on the Ridiculous and Ridiculed Ryan...God, you leave nothing to the imagination.
Good luck Ashley, you're going to need because no self-respecting guy is going to watch this season playback and still commit to marrying a hot mess like you, especially when you're bananas for Bentley and only decide to pay any attention to the rest of the guys when he shoots you down...AGAIN!
XoXo,
Shana
